What Arguments Go To The Alcoholic?
An increasing part of our society is suffering from alcoholism. The effect of alcoholism is destabilization of all spheres of the addicted person’s life, and in most cases also of people in their immediate vicinity. No wonder then that the family and relatives of the addicted person try to intervene. They try to persuade the alcoholic not to drink, so that he can go to treatment. They want to help. However, 99% of the time these actions fail.
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In Therapeutic Work, I Very Often Encounter Questions Such As:
- What arguments go to the alcoholic?
- How to motivate an alcoholic to treat?
- How can I get an alcoholic to undergo treatment?
- How Can I Deal With An Alcoholic?
- How to help an alcoholic?
In today’s article I will try to answer all these questions. The answers may surprise some, but each of them is based on my many years of experience in working with addicts and co-addicts.
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Help for the Alcoholic? – Start with Yourself
Participating in a permanent, destructive situation where a loved one abuses alcohol in a pathological way has many unpleasant consequences. The most serious of these is the phenomenon of codependency.
In most cases, however, those affected by codependency are unaware of it. Why am I talking about this?
In order to help an alcoholic, you should first take care of your mental condition. Contact with a psychotherapist or addiction therapist will allow you to understand your current situation.
- understanding yourself – the motives of your actions,
- learning about the mechanisms that govern codependency,
- learning the answers to the questions:
- why am I co-addicted,
- why am I suffering
- why nothing good comes out of my actions and interventions,
- why is it getting worse for me,
- why do I have to constantly control everything,
- and many others.
In such meetings, the codependent person (not the alcoholic) is the most important, and this is the focus of the conversation and the therapeutic process. In the process, he learns how to help himself first of all, and only then to the addicted person.
Gains Knowledge:
- how addiction mechanisms work,
- why the alcoholic behaves in one way or another,
- why the interventions do not bring the expected results,
- how to help an alcoholic.
- How to help an alcoholic?
Treat an Alcoholic Specifically – What Not to Do
For many people, the word “help” is very simple and means an action taken for the benefit of another person or making a difficult situation less burdensome. For alcoholism, which is known as the disease of lies and denial, such help simply does not work. It has the opposite effect. I will give examples.
When an alcoholic comes home drunk and falls to the ground, or does it in some public place, his relatives come to the rescue and pick him up. They take it to another place, put it to bed.
When an alcoholic vomits on his clothes, he will stain them, destroy them, make holes in them – relatives wash their clothes, clean their necks and clean them.
When an alcoholic sleeps, drinks, or has such a hangover that he is unable to go to work – his relatives arrange a sick leave for him or excuse his absence from the boss.
Hiding the addict’s problem from the world and covering up their negative behavior.
All these activities bring comfort to alcoholism and enable it to develop. Dealing with an addict for the negative effects of his actions HARMs this person. And it helps the disease.
We are well aware that it is hard not to “help” a loved one who is important to us. This is where the mechanisms of co-addiction are triggered, as well as the pure-human guilt – “like that – needs help, and I’m not helping”?
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If there is at least minimal drinking comfort and the alcoholic does not feel the consequences of his behavior, there is no chance for treatment.
Only when the addicted person begins to experience the consequences of their actions on their own skin, there is a chance that they will use the treatment option.
It very often happens that, despite the consequences, addicts do not go to treatment.
Now that we know what not to do, let’s talk about what we can do.
How Can I Deal With An Alcoholic?
Alcoholism is a disease of lies and manipulation – it needs to be closed and hidden. The first rule is to discover this disease.
You must not pretend that nothing is happening. Alcoholism must not be concealed. Not to be underestimated. Don’t minimize. It is important to be clear and open about the fact that this is a serious disease that requires treatment. Without the so-called cotton-wrapping.
We don’t help and we don’t hide the problem. We do not create drinking comfort.
We do not cure alcoholism at home. Why? No serious chronic disease is cured at home!